Last night in Bible study we were talking about Philippians 2:12 where Paul tells the Philippians to "work out their salvation with fear and trembling." We were discussing exactly what Paul meant by "with fear and trembling." We all agreed that he didn't mean to literally be shaking with fear our whole lives as we live as Christians or that we have to work to attain and maintain salvation, but rather to have a sort of reverence and respect for the Author of our Salvation. Another person in my group gave this analogy... She said it's kind of like when, as children, we break something, we aren't afraid that our parents are going to disown us or hurt us, rather we are afraid that they will be disappointed or hurt by our actions. This analogy had so much truth and conviction in it for me...

When I sin against God many times I simply come proudly before Him knowing he'll forgive my sin, I ask for that forgiveness and give myself a renewed, forgiven feeling.  This can no longer be the case, my sin must break me.  I have committed an act of rebellion and disrespect toward my perfect, completely holy Creator.  I must be broken over my sin.  I must feel the pain that I have caused my Father and see the depth of the eternal consequences of those actions.  Don't get me wrong, God does forgive and wash white the slate of our sin, but in order to be truly transformed from the flesh, I must come to that point where I feel the depth of my sin, where I see those actions as a complete disgrace to God.

I pray that I would come to that point where I am completely broken of my pride and I desire a life above reproach before the throne of God.  I pray God that You would show me the depth of my sin and reduce me to nothing so that my everything can be in you.

"reduce me to ashes

let me feel the depth of my sin

reduce me to ashes

undo my heart once again

I need a fresh view of you, Jesus

expose me in your holiness

a fresh view of you, Jesus

drown me in this hallowed place... reduce me to ashes

reduce me to ashes

rend my soul to see who I really am

reduce me to ashes

then put me back together again"

-Mark Jones